My experience with adoption was extremely difficult because I kept my pregnancy a secret from the entire family. The father of the baby and I were the only ones aware of the birth of our child. At the time when I felt so alone, my social worker at Catholic Charities was the one person who reassured me that I was doing a truly wonderful and selfless thing in placing my baby for adoption.
I only turned to Catholic Charities for help in my 9th month of pregnancy after a pregnancy filled with fear, uncertainty and denial. From the moment I met my social worker there, I was never made to feel like I had been irresponsible or that my feelings didn’t matter. I felt safe and was so grateful for the kindness and understanding shown me.
For years after the adoption I have always felt comfortable in contacting Catholic Charities, and they have been so kind in facilitating communication with the adoptive parents. I am so thankful for the services Catholic Charities provides and for the kindness and compassion of their staff.
They truly made one of the most difficult times in my life less lonely, and gave me the support I so desperately needed.
~ A Birthmother
The decision to give my child up for adoption was an easy one for me. As a child growing up, I had always known I was given up for adoption by a young couple who decided they could not raise me in the manner I should be raised. Adoption was not a foreign word to me from the day I can remember. Along with knowing I was adopted, my mother was very involved in MCCL and Birthright. I can remember accompanying her to fairs, and other functions where the fetal model displays were set up. Early on in life, we learned the growing stages of a baby during a pregnancy. Those images are burned vividly in my mind. That’s a baby in there – no matter what stage of a pregnancy the mother is in – that’s a baby.
So, when I found myself pregnant, I knew in my heart I could not raise a child, go to college and start a career at the age of 18. I also knew that abortion meant killing a baby. And that is simply wrong. As Catholics we believe abortion is wrong, but bottom line, in my eyes, no matter what faith one is, it is wrong to kill an unborn child.
So, with abortion out of the question and raising a child not being an option, I had one road to go – adoption. I went to counseling and helped choose the parents my child would go to. I had a birth coach who accepted and respected my decision to give my child up for adoption. The nine months flew by quickly, and on September 12th, 1988, I had a beautiful 8 pound little girl whom I named Kayla. Following her birth, Kayla was with me in the hospital for the two days. During those two days she met her grandparents, her aunt and uncle, and her great-grandparents.
I was met with so many comments on “how or why could you give your own flesh and blood up.” I did it because it was the best for her, and it was the best for me. I knew she was going to a household that desperately wanted a baby and who could do the things for her I could not.
The hardest part of my story was leaving the hospital without a baby and seeing my dad cry for the first and only time. Was it the easiest thing in the world to do? No, it wasn’t. Do I regret the decision I made? No, I would do it all the same again. It takes strength and commitment, but it was the right decision.
~ Kristen, Adoptee & Birthparent
One of the things we really appreciated about Catholic Charities adoption services was the counseling. Not only did we receive counseling allowing us to talk through our history and our philosophies on parenting, but we also had the change for the social worker to get to know us. Additionally, our daughter’s birthmother also received counseling. We truly appreciated this so that she could talk through her situation and we respected Catholic Charities respect for her. We are so pleased to know her choice to make the adoption plan was truly her choice, not something somebody else pushed off on her.
~ Adoptive Parents